UNDERSTANDING FAMILY DYNAMICS IN THE LIGHT OF SCRIPTURES

The act of abandoning one’s family to pursue a higher calling is strongly depicted in Mark 1:16-20. This passage tells the story of how Simon, Andrew, James, and John were called by Jesus to follow him. This story is like the story of Elisha being called by Elijah in 1 Kings 19:19-21. In both stories, those called had to abandon their families and professions. Elisha left behind his farming profession, slaughtered his twelve yokes of oxen, hosted a farewell party, kissed his parents goodbye, and followed Elijah.

Receiving God’s call doesn’t necessarily mean abandoning one’s family and loved ones. In fact, Simon, Andrew, James, and John, who were called by Jesus, did not sever their connections with their families permanently. Rather, they accepted Jesus’ call collectively, not in isolation (Mark 1:17). Moreover, in Mark 1:29-31, we see that the four disciples visited Simon and Andrew’s home along with Jesus. There, they found Simon’s mother-in-law sick with a fever, and Jesus healed her. This implies that the disciples had opportunities to return to their family homes during their itinerant ministry. What they did give up was their previous professions, not their immediate families. In my evangelism and church planting ministry, we often spend periods ranging from one week to even a month away from our families, but that doesn’t mean we have severed our family relationships.

Following Jesus doesn’t necessarily require a complete disconnection from one’s family. However, conflicts may arise that can strain family relationships. In the Gospel of Mark, we see instances where immediate family members obstruct someone’s commitment to following Jesus. In Mark 3:20-35, Jesus encounters conflict with both his immediate family and the religious authorities, the scribes. In Mark 3:20-21, the text reads, “When the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, ‘He has gone out of his mind.'” Jesus’ immediate family, attempted to stop him, unaware that they were impeding his divine mission of preaching the kingdom of God. In response to this, Jesus redefines his family in Mark 3:33-35, asserting that those who do the will of God constitute his true family, emphasizing obedience to his teachings and active participation in his mission.

It’s worth noting that Jesus didn’t abandon his immediate family. In fact, they eventually became his devoted followers. According to Acts 1:14, Mary (Jesus’s mother) and his brothers were among those who committed themselves to prayer and became an essential part of the early Christian community. James, one of Jesus’s brothers, is believed to have written the Epistle of James. Even during his crucifixion, Jesus’s mother remained by his side (John 19:26).

As believers, we need to understand how the Gospel affects our family relationships. When we accept Jesus as our savior, it can greatly impact our connections with our loved ones. This can lead to conflicts, especially if our families adhere to traditions that are incompatible with the teachings of Jesus Christ. For example, practices such as ancestral worship, consulting the dead, soothsaying, fortune-telling, and seeking advice from n’angas are incompatible with the life of faith in Jesus Christ. It is important to remember that light and darkness cannot coexist. How can you put up with a witch or wizard despite being a family member? Following Jesus can come at a cost, and sometimes this means leaving behind our professions or cutting ties with family members who are hostile to our faith. I know I touched some grey areas here. It’s subject to discussion. Feel free to reach out for open discussion.

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